William Penn once said: I expect to pass through this world but once. If, therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer, or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.
This advice is especially true for those who have experienced domestic violence and abuse. It is true because after experiencing the heartbreak, that is, domestic violence and abuse; a tendency develops to go inward; rather than reaching out to show kindness; or to help other fellow beings. This is a mistake. For it is in the reaching out, the showing of kindness, and the doing of good things to help others, that healing occurs.
So don’t wait, don’t defer, and don’t neglect reaching out and doing good to help others, or yourself. Reach out to God, first, for self healing. Follow His directives as found in Matthew 11:28; Psalm 55:22; and Hebrew 4:16, which say:
- Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest;
- Cast (your) burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved; and
- Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
Remember God has promised in Psalm 147:3: He heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds.
Come to the realization that there are, ultimately, only two options for the victims of domestic violence and abuse (after they have arrived at a place of physical and psychological safety):
- to stay in grief, sorrow, depression, and/or mourning; or
- to forgive, and find happiness and joy again; and forget (or at least not to concentrate on) the things that lie behind, and press forward in life; even as Paul did, saying in Philippians 3: 13: . . . but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.
Ultimately, even though it is difficult, if there is to be healing from the effects of domestic violence and abuse, it is necessary that an unwavering decision be made to look forward and not back. A conscious decision to forgive must also be made; as does a conscious decision to find joy again; and to show kindness to self and others. For in the end, there is only one life on this earth, and the choice of what is done with it, is up to the individual.
Anyone who is a victim of domestic violence and abuse is dealt a bad hand. Yet it can be turned into a winning hand for life, if a quality decision is made to control the thought processes that tend to the positive values of: happiness, joy, peace, love, prosperity, healing, forgiveness, and showing of kindness to others. Since individuals pass this way but once, let them choose the better option now, starting with thought processes that resemble those of Paul’s in Philippians 4:8:
- Finally, brethren whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.