FEWER LASTING MARRIAGES
When couples mutually embrace virtuous attributes within their marriage it bonds them closer together. This also helps to build intimacy and transparency! When they are faithful, accountable and committed it reinforces and encourages good marriage boundaries. Keep in mind the acronym “L I M I T S” which I discussed earlier in Part 1. Remember it stands for, Love, Intimacy, Mutual respect, Integrity and Sex! It is a great reminder of what it takes to build healthier and stronger marriage boundaries! If and when you together embrace these principles within your marriage it will continue to grow and flourish! Each marriage is different and the priorities will vary…
Many marriages are not lasting because both or one spouse loses sight of what their marriage means! Marriage was designed by God to be the ultimate partnership between a man and a woman! Marriage was designed to last a lifetime! The world is ever changing and many seek to change the original design for marriage! Notice how you even see less and less couples in the movies that live “happily ever after.” The majority of movies are about fighting and feuding, violence, drugs, crime and criminals, alternative relationships, difficult loveless marriages & divorce or …
Does this impact the population at large? Personally, I think so! More and more marriages are continuing to end in divorce. It is as high as 55- 60% in some cases and in second marriages the statistics are even higher. Affairs are becoming a way of life, multiple partners, frequent break ups and fewer and fewer marrying instead they opt to just live together or… As an adult you have the right to choose who, when and how long you want to be with someone or who that someone is. Notice fewer and fewer is choosing to stay married for life… If you have gotten off track; start now getting your marriage back on track! A good strong traditional marriage may not make the headlines but it can & will stand the tests of time when you embrace the principles of “L I M I T S!”
Hollywood is leading the pack in divorces. The entertainment scene is ever changing. There are more films were violence is escalating and the breakdown of marriages, relationships, families and values are regularly occurring… More reality shows from every walk of life that represents the latest trends in relationships… What a hodgepodge! Hollywood in general continuously mirrors less and less marriages that value, embrace or encourage what we have come to know as monogamous traditional values.
It does not take rocket science to figure out what is going on. Hmmm perhaps a subliminal desensitization is occurring? Personally I think so; because there is an immense mammoth shift in the decline of moral values. Or what is now even considered to be moral? What was important and considered virtuous or honorable is now becoming passé… Marriage is still honorable in the eyes of GOD!
For example, Tom Cruise is one that is considered to be a fine principled famous actor. Well, he has recently been petitioned for divorce from his wife Katie Holmes. This has caught him a bit off guard! Prior to this marriage he was married to Nicole Kidman. Their marriage ended after ten years. Tom appears to be a family oriented man. He is a member and supporter of Scientology who was raised as a Catholic. His marriage to Katie Holmes has lasted half of the time he spent married to Nicole Kidman who has now remarried. Katie and Tom’s memorable romantic wedding nuptials took place in a posh Italian Castle after their much publicized whirlwind courtship! After only a brief two months they were engaged to be married… Tom is reportedly in shock, heartbroken and quite disappointed he is away ironically filming a film called “Oblivion” in Iceland!
So what does this mean? Is it harder to have a good lasting marriage when you are a public figure? I use Mr. Cruise because he is a public figure that most of us can relate to. Earlier this year was the lightning fast short extravagant and expensive multimillion dollar $$$$$$ wedding of Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries! This is not to just pinpoint the flaws in celebrities. I think we can learn much from them because in general they have the material “Stuff” that many seem to value. It’s not enough… Certainly we can see that marriage goes much deeper than the material possessions that one attains… It is so very important that “L I M I T S” are inclusive when desiring to build a good marriage! Marriage is about achieving harmony, mutual respect and balance with a committed spouse! Marriage is about learning how to Love! Marriage is supposed to be about building a “Love that Lasts!”
For a marriage to last both spouses must make their marriage a top priority! Intimacy, transparency and good communication are necessary. Both must continually invest themselves into the marriage and remain attentive to the needs of one another. A great marriage takes a lot of teamwork! You will have to at times toil through some rough turbulent waters together. This will help and can also make you both stronger and your marriage even moreso secure. Assuming that all will always be well is not good… Periodically taking a reality check is good. Rather than sweep things under the rug, deal with them and nip them in the bud. It can be difficult when one or both spouses are required to travel separately a lot. Whenever one is apart from the other the couple must continue to seek creative ways to reinforce their “oneness!” In this day and age there are so many innovative and creative technological devices to help you keep in touch!
We can learn a lot from the much published lives of celebrities, politicians and public figures. They are people no different, with needs, wants and desires than everyone else. Yes, they have an extra added dimension because they live under the “public microscope!” So their faults and mistakes are subject o public scrutiny. This within itself makes it even harder… I think their experiences should and could help others to stop and think and see that committed lifelong marriages are becoming fewer and fewer. This does not have to be. You must cherish the one you say you Love! Put forth the effort to make love deposits consistently and regularly so that your marriage will not go bankrupt when issues arise or you arrive at an impasse! REMEMBER! Both of you must together make one another’s wellbeing a main concern. Commit to keep and embrace the “L I M I T S; ” Love, Intimacy, Mutual respect, Integrity, Trust , and yes Sex within your marriage a top priority! This will help you build a lasting marriage! The vows you make to one another are much more than mere words!