When the term hubby comes across your ears what is it that you think of? How about when you hear wifey? Are these words just a set of nicknames that people have grown over the course of a marriage, or are these abating titles that have been drafted for comfort, in lieu of marriage? Oxford Dictionary refers to “wifey” as “a condescending way of referring to a man’s wife”, as opposed to “wife,” which Merriam-Webster lists as a woman, spouse, lady, female or specifically; 1. (n:) a married woman considered in relation to her husband.
So, who are the people that use these terms? Further examination gives insight that most of the men and women that use these terms are not really attached to their partners legally, in the way their titles may suggest. Oftentimes, use of the endearing lexemes simply just provide a sense of security for its recipients because either parties may not feel ready to jump into a serious commitment such as marriage, or is not able to sway the other party into such a serious undertaking, and has settled with a form of its perception for the public’s eye. It is a representation for what you have, and to which there is a sense of loyalty. In Chicago, and several metropolitan cities across the country it is likely you will find male individuals referring to their favorite female as their “wifey.” As well, a lot of women have begun taking on the appeasing role and projecting the same onto their partners.
The fact of the matter is, in certain communities of people, being the “wifey,” or “hubby” is something that will probably make you blush and lay claim to certain social rights in your relationship. And for a lot of people this behavior is fine, but still there are many more who are becoming privy to what being a “wifey” or “hubby” actually means, and for these individuals, the title is simply not acceptable. These are the people that understand the difference between a good time and a good relationship. They are not okay with being considered the most loyal of your sexual partners and thereby receiving a higher rank in expectation and title. No, they prefer to be the only partner and know they deserve nothing less.
Yesterday (article published August 29, 2013), on the fiftieth anniversary of the March on Washington, I was listening to one of my favorite syndicated morning radio-talk shows and the topic came up about what it is you would bring as an agenda to Washington if given the opportunity to march. A lot of listeners chimed in with their calls and had their voices heard on some very real and trying agendas, many of which I agreed on, but one that seemed to be absent – or which I may have missed because I never stay on one station too long, as I have several favorite shows and morning commercials are quite annoying- is the issue of marriage. As a whole we have lost the foundation to love love, work at love, and to see love through, and the images we see in media does not play to those gaps in our foundation. This is not an attempt to blame media for one of our many downfalls as a society but facts are facts and many relationships are modeled by what people see, and when they are not seeing successful marriages in their homes, or in their friends’ homes then they turn to what’s popular because popular is what’s cool and easy. Maybe our plights are not completely different than those we faced in the 60’s but uniform in their debilitation. But as with all things it is a matter of what you are willing to accept.
Being addressed as a “hubby” or a “wifey” can have its perks just as it could have its downfalls, the key is figuring out if you are the type that has the ability to endure both.