Very strange, I received this blurp on a “Useless Knowledge” badge I get from iGoogle. It said “Persons who engage in solitary endurance sports are the ones most likely to be compulsive exercisers i.e., joggers, long-distance swimmers, weight lifters, and cross-country skiers.
” Frequently, devotees of these activities set unrealistic, ambitious goals and then drive themselves mercilessly to reach them.” “A study of New York marathoners a few years ago found that their divorce rate both male and female was twice the national average.” Can this hold some truth, if so, how is it useless knowledge?
Are there people out there that are so obsessed with working out they will let it ruin their marriage? I have talked about lying, cheating, drug and alcohol addiction, we know those ruin lives, but working out? When I read this I had to research it some and I came across this newsletter titled, “A workout ate my Marriage” yes, that is a real title.
I wanted to share a portion of it with you. By Kevin Helliker, “As the wife of an endurance athlete, Caren Waxman wakes up alone every morning, including holidays.” “Mother’s Day really upset me,” says the Rockleigh, N.J., mother of three, age 47, whose husband leaves before dawn each morning for hours of exercise.
In May, he will wish her a happy Mother’s Day from Utah, where he will compete in a triathlon.” “It’s selfish,” concedes her husband, Jordan Waxman, 46, a private-banking executive at Merrill Lynch and an Ironman triathlete. “He says he leaves notes for his wife and children before leaving for morning workouts.”
“With exercise intruding ever-more frequently on intimacy, counselors are proposing a new wedding vow: For fitter or for fatter.” “Exercise is getting more and more couples into my office,” says Karen Gail Lewis, a Cincinnati marriage and family therapist.” I don’t know if I find this strange or fascinating maybe because my wife will never lose me to a morning jog.
Americans know the importance of staying healthy these days, heck there is a million fly by night diets out there but why is it destroying marriages. Commitment to a demanding training schedule cuts to the heart of the issues couples often find themselves fighting about, who does chores, who gets time for themselves and who decides where and how the family has fun.
This creates wonder for me, is this an attempt to avoid home life and doing family things and having family time? The threat can go beyond time issues. If one partner gets a new, buff appearance and a new circle of buff acquaintances, romantic possibilities can open up and give the other spouse good reason to feel insecure about his or her own physique.
Of course this has me thinking, why not down size the workout to what is achievable to everyone and include the family. With all the negative things that can happen within a marriage today why would we allow this to become one of them?
Do you insist on rising at five to run each morning, even when your back is aching, black ice coats the streets, and your wife really would love for you to stay in bed? Do you only feel good when you’re training for triathlons? Is eating merely a way to replenish for the next race? Then you, my Spandex-clad friend, may have an exercise addiction.
For the vast majority of us, exercise is a good thing that we don’t get enough of. But a small minority of perfectionist athletes are compulsive exercisers. Some call themselves exercise addicts, or obsessives, or “obligatory athletes.” As many as 10% of high-performance runners, and possibly an equal number of body builders, have an exercise addiction.
My question is, why do you get married. Not that I feel you don’t deserve a happy marriage or at least a chance at one. But if you know you would rather be at work at some marathon than at home with a spouse, why did you get married?