The subversive patterns in our lives elude us! We look directly at them and miss the contingency of their blatant meaning and form. We seek everywhere for answers, interpretations, resolutions and recourse. Any place, other than where we currently reside.
We stumble, we fret, we worry, we complain. We imagine all sorts of things in the meantime, never once paying subservient attention to the obvious clues staring us ‘smack dab in the face.’ Why? Because we don’t want to see what’s there.
We don’t want to resolve the so-called problems that make up our cherished dilemmas. Why? Because we don’t really want anything to change; we want to complain and criticize while we continue doing what we always do. We have grown so accustomed to our self-inflicted misery and delusional projected pain; we don’t’ want to turn it loose.
Try as we might, we cannot talk long enough or bitch loud enough to convince ourselves that we are being treated unfairly. We are so identified with the repeated stories of woe we offer; we can’t hear the content of distraction. No matter what elaborate lengths we will go to in the process in our defense, when the ‘mule comes back to the barn’, not one little crumb of our life will be disturbed in order to change things.
We berate the other with belittling sarcastic remarks; cause all sorts of chaos and confusion simply because we don’t know what we want to do with ourselves. We don’t have a single hint of who we are, much less what we are saying. We blame the one facing us for our own deluge of despondent despair. And, on and on and on it goes without relent.
It’s a desperate degrading pit to be swallowed up in and most especially for the unsuspecting partner. The belligerent attitude, the uncomely character, the unforgiving mouth merely sets the stage for the onslaught of guilt and regret to envelope our minds and sabotage our relationships.
The real culprit remains: we don’t know how to be still. Get Quiet. Stop yelling long enough to see: “there’s nothing really wrong.” Everything is perfect for the moment. But, we don’t want to hear those words! Our minds are filled with enough accusations and slander to fill the Grand Canyon and then some. We need to give it a rest, but we won’t.
“We gag at a gnat and swallow a camel,” as one enlightened writer so aptly stated. WE nag, bemoan, gossip and complain until our faces wrinkle, hair falls out and pain forms in our bones to cripple us; yet, we still, refuse to give up the unnecessary fight to be right!
Why are we so determined to have the last word? Be the one who has to set the matter straight? Little do we realize that our interference merely complicates the situation? Why can’t we simply leave it alone; let it be. Because we are so vested in the idea of ‘certain’ manner we believe ourselves to be, we will not allow it questioned or examined.
We desire to remain in the lofty position of unchallenged authority with no possibility of being undermined or dethroned! How stupid. How utterly, characteristically vain! We need not keep up the charade. Our cherished self-honored party has long since been over; the guests have gone home. We can kick back and relax.
No longer do we have to keep up the façade of having the answers and expecting others to abide by our rules. The rules have changed. Our mate is free to express himself/herself in whatever manner selected without fear of repercussion. We need let go of the iron clad grip we think we all holding on another. Let the reigns go! The horse will always return to the barn after his work or play is complete. Don’t you KNOW that?