It is not possible for one person to be everything we need. Being in love is wonderful, and some people are lucky enough to fall in love with their best friend. But even given that, it is unnatural for ONE person to give another person everything they need. I think this is where many of our romances go wrong. We tend to expect our significant other to be our end all/be all… and it’s really not fair. It’s also impossible.
We need to be more realistic, with ourselves and with the people we love. Everybody needs their own space– their own SOMETHING. Imagine being completely in love with someone. Now imagine spending 24 hours a day together, 7 days a week, for the rest of your life. Sound a little daunting? It should. No matter how much you love someone, they will at some point annoy you, and vice versa. We need to accept this as being ok, and move on. The expectation of perfection can easily ruin a good relationship. If you love someone enough to spend a lot of time with them, you will eventually have some issues. That’s normal. The question is, do you love them enough to deal with it, or will you throw up your hands in frustration because that fairytale didn’t keep sparkling for you?
People also need friends. Their own friends. No matter how in love you are, that amazing person can’t be your lover, your sounding board, your devil’s advocate, confidant, the one you share all your job woes with, etc… That’s one heck of a job description; I can’t think of any person who actually fits this bill, except maybe that guy I dream about sometimes (but I can never see his face)!! In the career world, everything has a realistic job title and description. There are specialties, even. Relationships are really the only time people are expected to perform every function there is. That’s crazy. Let’s be real, y’all. Ladies need our besties to complain to about all the things we don’t want to annoy him with. We need that close-knit group to laugh with about work, insecurities, and yes, HIM. Guys need their buddies to talk about guy stuff, like… I dunno, sports statistics, beer, and cars (and US). And that is okay! Expecting the impossible is unfair, and it’s a great way to doom a relationship before it has a chance. The next time you get all downtrodden because that guy isn’t comforting you over your new highlights while simultaneously fixing your car, cooking dinner and making you laugh, consider this: he’s human; not magical. And so are you. So call your best friends, or your mom, or your sister. Your best friend will fix your hair for you, your sister will give you her recipe, and your mom will make you laugh about your other sister. They all love you and are in your life for a reason.