Have you come to a point in your life that you feel stuck? Perhaps you feel that by this time in your life you would have accomplished more by now? Or maybe you’ve become very successful but look around you find yourself asking “Is this is?”
Have you kept finding yourself bettering financially, getting better and better paying jobs, better and more powerful titles but always feeling unfulfilled? Did you find that then led to bad relationships with your friends and family. Is your whole life simply out of balance?
Well, it’s time to change all of that. It’s time for you to take control of your life and move in the direction that will truly give you the feelings of fulfillment, joy, happiness and excitement that you are looking for.
Step 1. Know What You Want
You may be thinking, “I already know what I want. I want to be less stressed, I don’t want to feel this lack in my life, I want to get rid of the debt“, etc…
Actually, that’s what you don’t want. All the negative things you have in your life are the things you don’t want in your life. What you need to think about is what do you want in your life. Tony Robbins says if you ask most people what they want the number one answer is “I don’t know.” When you think about it, isn’t that really true? Because if you really knew what you wanted you would be focused on that and things would be better.
Think of this way. Say you decide you want to go on a road trip and spend time with your family. You get the car all packed, snacks and drinks ready to go. You get in the car and you look at each other and say “Ok, where to?” But if you don’t know where you are going you either never leave to go or you never know if you reached the destination.
So, if you don’t know what you want, how can you take any kind of action to get it? Exactly, you don’t.
You need to sit down and really think about what it is you want. What kind of life do you really want. If you knew, no matter what you decided, you could not fail, what would you do, have, see, etc… What kind of relationship would you have? What kind of things would you have? Where would you travel? What would you give back?
Step 2: Know Why You Want It.
Not only do you need to know what you want but you need to know why you want it. You can’t ask for money simply for the sake of having money. There usually is a reason. What is the reason?
For example, I want $100,000 so that I can pay off all my credit cards, put money into my child’s college savings and take my wife on a great vacation to Italy.
Why would this be important? Because as Tony Robbins says, “If you have a strong enough why, how happens on it’s own.”
If you simply say I want $100,000 what’s the motivation behind it? What’s the power? There is none. But if you say I want $100,000 to pay off credit cards, save for your child’s college and take your wife/husband on a dream vacation, what is the power behind that?
The power is the feelings you get from it. The money is not what you really want. What you really want is the joy and happiness you will feel from no longer being in debt, knowing that your child can go to college without any problems paying for it and the love you will feel from your wife/husband because you are taking her someplace she has always dreamed of going.
Step 3: Change Your Beliefs
If you have seen The Secret or read the book, it speaks of the 3 basic steps; Ask, Believe & Receive. The second step, Believe, is the hardest step for most people. Why? Because as adults we are taught both directly and indirectly that you can’t always get what you want.
The reason most people don’t have what they want is because of what they believe. Don’t think so? While you start making your lists of wants and why you want them you may start feeling excitement. When you start thinking and focusing on the good things you want in your life you can’t help it.
But what inevitably happens? You start getting feelings of doubt don’t you? Your inner voices start talking to you saying things like:
“Are you crazy, where are going to get the money for that?”
“You are not nearly smart enough for that.”
“How are you going to start a business in this economy? It’s impossible”
“What a stupid idea.”
Sound familiar? These are your beliefs talking. When doubt starts to creep in, it’s your subconscious mind telling you what you really believe. So, if you don’t really believe that you can do or have anything you really want, then what happens? Right, absolutely nothing. You lose hope, give up and think that what you got is the best you’re going to get and give up.
But if you recognize when the self talk starts you can stop it in it’s tracks and then begin to get rid of it and replace it with positive beliefs. Things that are opposite to your doubts. You must believe things are possible even if you don’t know how to do it. Henry Ford said “If you think you can or you think you can’t, either way, you’re right.”
Step 4: Create a Goal and Take Immediate Action
Decide right now that you are no longer going to settle for this life. Take each problem on one at at time.
First make a goal. If you are currently in debt and don’t know what you are going to do to get out of it, then set a goal to be debt free by a date. Or set a goal to have 50% of the debt gone by a certain date. Whatever it is be specific. What do you want to accomplish and when do you want to accomplish it by.
Then start an action plan. What is the first step you need to take today to finish your goal. Do you have to know exactly how you are going to do? No. Just start with the first step. Remember you don’t have to see the whole staircase, just the first step.
So, in our debt example, what would be the first step you would need to take right now? How about know exactly how much you owe? Scary, yes but very necessary. If you don’t know how much you need to pay, how will you know when you are done?
After you complete the first step, then ask what is the next step I should take? You may not know the answer right away but your brain is a super computer. Ask the right questions it will give you the answers.
Stay focused on the goal and you will get there.
So, let’s summarize:
Step 1: You must know what you want and you must be specific about what you want.
Step2: You must know why you want it. Have a strong enough why, how will happen on it’s own.
Step 3: Believe you can have it. When doubt starts to show up, recognize it and eliminate it immediately.
Step 4: Set a goal and take immediate action on that goal.
If you take these 4 simple steps and start applying them to all the areas of your life that you want to improve, you will see a difference in the quality of life you will have. Stop playing the victim. Don’t let your life rule you. Rule your life. Take charge. Expect only the best. And when you do, change will come. It’s inevitable.
Here’s to you and your incredible life!