How I Met Your Mother (8/7c) – S07, E09 “Disaster Averted” – The gang remembers the events of Hurricane Irene; Barney tries to get out of wearing the ducky tie.
2 Broke Girls (8:30/7:30c) – S01, E13 “And the Secret Ingredient” – While immersed in her couponing obsession, Caroline learns the secret ingredient in Max’s cupcakes.
Two and a Half Men (9/8c) – S09, E13 “Slowly and in a Circular Fashion” – When Walden’s mother (Mimi Rogers) and ex-wife (Judy Greer) try to take over his company, he turns to Alan for help.
Mike & Molly (9:30/8:30c) – S02, E02 “Dennis’ Birthday” – Peggy gets a big surprise when she celebrates her boyfriend’s birthday.
Hawaii Five-0 (10/9c) – S02, E16 “I Helu Pu” – When the team almost causes an international incident, Lt. Gov. Denning decides that one of them should be fired; Chin Ho faces the harrowing task of choosing a Valentine’s Day gift for Malia.
(NEW) XXX Summer Olympics (8/7c) – “Swimming, Gymnastics, Diving, Beach Volleyball” – From London. Swimming, finals: men’s 200m freestyle, men’s 100m backstroke, women’s 100m backstroke, women’s 100m breaststroke; gymnastics: men’s team final; diving: men’s synchronized platform; beach volleyball, women’s: USA vs. Czech Republic.
(NEW) Bachelor Pad (8/7c) – S03, E02 – Memorable contestants from previous seasons of “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” live together at the mansion and compete for a $250,000 prize. In each episode, the contestants compete in a challenge to win immunity and a date with the contestants of their choice. After the date, there is a rose ceremony and eliminations, where the contestants vote off one man and one woman. In the end, one player emerges as the victor, and hopefully will have found love along the way. Chris Harrison hosts. This week contestants struggle with a rhythmic gymnastics challenge; sparks fly between two contestants at a rock concert; a shocking decision is made.
(NEW) The Glass House (10/9c) – S01, E07 – Following the elimination, the teams face a competition where they must get balls into designated pockets.
(NEW)(PILOT) Off the Hook: Extreme Catches (9/8c) – S01, E01 “Sailfish Smackdown” – Professional wrestler “Showtime” Eric Young, a novice outdoorsman, hosts this series in which he travels across the country to learn about some of the most extreme fishing techniques some people have come up with to try to catch the big one, including using pantyhose to catch sharks in the Atlantic Ocean and launching live bait with fire extinguishers on Lake Michigan. Eric uses plywood and an inner tube to build a raft, then sets out off the coast of Miami to nab a sailfish.
(NEW) Off the Hook: Extreme Catches (9:30/8:30c) – S01, E02 “Shark-a-mania!” – Eric travels to Florida and tries to land a lemon shark, blacktip shark or bull shark while on a paddleboard.
Family Guy Marathon (7-10c)
(NEW) The Closer (9/8c) – S07, E19 “Last Rites” – A priest’s murder drives a wedge between Brenda and Chief Pope; Brenda’s parents return as her father continues his cancer treatments.
(NEW) Perception (10/9c) – S01, E04 “Cipher” – Eccentric neuroscience professor Dr. Daniel Pierce is a paranoid schizophrenic who struggles with hallucinations. However, his condition also allows him to see patterns and make connections that others don’t. With that gift, Daniel helps his former student, FBI agent Kate Moretti, as a consultant on certain cases. Helping keep Daniel on task is his teaching assistant and roommate, Max Lewicki, who provides for Daniel’s domestic demands, and Natalie Vincent, Daniel’s best friend, one-time romantic partner and definite intellectual equal. Pierce tries to crack a code left in a newspaper by someone who may be connected to a murder.
(LIVE) WWE Monday Night RAW (8/7c) – S20, E31 – After CM Punk’s surprising actions at RAW 1000, what’s next for John Cena, Big Show & Punk?
Channel listings taken from Comcast Digital cable package for the Monroe, Louisiana area. Satellites subscribers and those from other areas should consult their local listings for channel information.
Picks for tonight courtesy Yahoo! TV.
ABC FAMILY 27
(NEW) The Secret Life of the American Teenager (8/7c) S05, E07 “Girlfriends” – Kathy is encouraged to make new friends at school, but falls in with a bad crowd; Leo learns about Ben’s plans to sneak around with Dylan.
(NEW) Bunheads (9/8c) – S01, E07 “What’s Your Damage, Heather?” – Michelle tries to keep the dance studio running smoothly in Fanny’s absence, but flooded dressing rooms lead to a more serious problem when the girls begin changing for class in Michelle’s home.
(LIVE) MLB Baseball (7/6c) – Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim at Texas Rangers
(NEW) Super Bowl Highlights (8/7c) – Super Bowl XLVI: New England Patriots vs. New York Giants
(MOVIE) Senna (8:30/7:30c) – Ayrton Senna becomes a three-time Formula One racing champion and Brazil’s national hero before his untimely death at age 34. (Asif Kapadia, Manish Pandey, Liza Chasin, Debra Hayward, Kevin Macdonald)
(LIVE) MLB Baseball (8/7c) – Houston Astros at Milwaukee Brewers
Big Break Atlantis (8/7c) – S17, E12 “X Marks the Spot” – Filmed at the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas, an all-female cast of 12 contestants competes in challenges on the Tom Weiskopf-designed Ocean Club Golf Course, an 18-hole championship layout stretched over 7,100 yards of coastline. One player is eliminated on each episode until the “Big Break” champion emerges, winning a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to compete in an LPGA Tour event, $50,000 in cash and other prizes. Golf Channel’s Tom Abbott and Stephanie Sparks return as co-hosts.
(NEW) Big Break Atlantis (9/8c) – S17, E13 “Reunion”
(NEW) Feherty (10/9c) – S02, E18 “John Daly” – Known for saying whatever comes in his head, popular CBS sports commentator David Feherty hosts this prime-time series, with the bulk of each episode being an interview Feherty conducts with a well-known sports, entertainment or political figure. The former European and PGA tour pro, a born and bred Irishman who became a U.S. citizen in 2010, also shares unique golf stories and his ever-so-present observations on life’s peculiarities.
World’s Wildest Police Videos Marathon (4-11c) – With (NEW) episode, S01, E11 at 9c.
Redneck Island (8/7c) S01, E07 “As Redneck Island Turns” – Steve Austin makes a surprise visit to camp to declare that each contestant will now compete individually.
Ron White’s Comedy Salute to the Troops 2012 (9/8c) – Also featuring comedians Kathleen Madigan, Jake Johannsen, John Pinette and Mike Wilmot; includes footage from White’s visit with troops stationed at Fort Benning in Georgia.
(NEW) Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta (8/7c) – S01, E07 “Therapy” – Karlie gets an ultimatum, which puts stress on her relationship; Stevie makes a suggestion to Mimi; Rasheeda and Kirk make a difficult decision.
(NEW) Single Ladies (9/8c) – S02, E10 “Fast Love” – Raquel believes that Charles is not interested in her; April and Reggie’s relationship hits a snag.
(NEW) Teen Wolf (10/9c) – S02, E10 “Fury” – Scott, Stiles, Melissa and Stillinski are taken hostage; Allison tracks Derek to the station.
(MOVIE) Like Mike 2: Streetball (7:30/6:30c) – A pair of lucky sneakers turns a small, untalented basketball player into a star. (Jascha Washington, Michael Beach, David Nelson)
(MOVIE) Fat Albert (10/9c) – A lonely teen’s tears create a portal through which the 1970s cartoon character and his pals emerge into flesh-and-blood reality. Live action/animated. (Kenan Thompson, Kyla Pratt, Shedrack Anderson III, Jermaine Williams, Keith Robinson)
Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives Marathon (5-10c) – With (NEW) episode, “Coast to Coast Chow” at 9.
(9:00) “Coast to Coast Chow” – Chicken-fried biscuit; shrimp BLT; German specialities; chimichurri beef tacos and mango pies.
Bizarre Foods America (8/7c) – S08, E03 “Miami” – Andrew explores the iconic treasures and hidden delights that make Miami’s food scene so special.
(NEW) Bizarre Foods America (9/8c) – S08, E04 “New Mexico” – Zimmern explores the many layers of flavors from the past and present that can be found in this southwestern state.
Hotel Impossible (10/9c) – S01, E03 “Hotel New Yorker” – Anthony goes to the New Yorker Hotel in Miami to help the turn their investment around.
Hotel Impossible (11/10c) – S01, E12 “The Vermont Inn” – Anthony transforms the Vermont Inn in Mendon, VT.
(NEW) Hollywood Heights (9/8c) – S01, E31 “Eddie Learns the Truth” – Chloe’s incriminating photo exasperates Eddie; Loren is ecstatic after a business meeting with Kelly.
(MOVIE) 27 Dresses (8/7c) – A perpetual bridesmaid balks upon learning that her next assignment would be standing up for her sister, who will marry the man the bridesmaid secretly loves. (Katherine Heigl, James Marsden, Malin Akerman, Edward Burns, Judy Greer)
Cake Boss Marathon (2-9c)
(NEW) Four Houses (10/9c) – “…and a Disco Hot Tub” – A Venetian villa is up against a modern high-rise condo, an Art Deco classic and a vintage bungalow.
(NEW) Warehouse 13 (9/8c) – S04, E02 “An Evil Within” – Pete and Myka investigate a mysterious case where mobs of angry people are hallucinating.
(NEW) Alphas (10/9c) – S02, E02 “The Quick and the Dead” – On the hunt for a killer, the team realizes the search has lead him directly to them with a deadly consequences.
(NEW) Opening Act (10/9c) – S01, E04 “Jono & Jason Mraz” – This series strives to give little-known singers, whose videos are mainly seen online, their big break in the entertainment industry. After being surprised with the news, each band or solo artist is brought to Hollywood for a performance boot camp and intense mentoring sessions with industry heavyweights, for there are just days to prepare for the big performance. The chosen acts open for such popular artists as Nicki Minaj, Rod Stewart, Brad Paisley, Jason Mraz and Gym Class Heroes. This week Jono, a salesman from Denver, has been selected to open for Jason Mraz.
(MOVIE) Five Came Back (8/7c) – Conflicts arise among the 12 survivors of a jungle plane crash when it is learned only five can return to civilization. (Chester Morris, Lucille Ball, Wendy Barrie, John Carradine, Allen Jenkins)
(MOVIE) Island in the Sky (9:30/8:30c) – Rescuers scour uncharted arctic expanses for a missing plane, while its downed crew struggles to survive. (John Wayne, Lloyd Nolan, Walter Abel, James Arness, Andy Devine)
(MOVIE) The Godfather (8/7c) – Crime boss Vito Corleone and his sons rule their New York empire with Mafia justice. Based on the novel by Mario Puzo. (Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, Richard Castellano, Robert Duvall)
The Real Housewives of New Jersey (8/7c) – S04, E14 “Pack Your Baggage” – The women flee to the California coast to escape from Hurricane Irene; tensions between Caroline, Jacqueline and Teresa escalate; Teresa confronts Kathy.
(NEW) The Real Housewives of New York City (9/8c) – S05, E09 “Dirty Ol’ Dad” – Sonja dates Aviva’s sex-addicted father; Aviva asks Sonja how to deal with Ramona; Carole calls out LuAnn for asked a friend to loan her dresses.
(NEW) Miss Advised (10/9c) – S01, E07 “The One?” – Emily’s childhood crush comes to town with a surprise; Julia struggles with her column and with Andrew; Amy dates a man from her gym.
All Worked Up Marathon (6-8c)
Lizard Lick Towing – S02, E13 – Ron and Amy plan to renew their wedding vows while Bobby plans a crazy bachelor party; a debtor leads Ron and Bobby on a wild goose chase.
Lizard Lick Towing (9:30/8:30c) – S02, E20 – Ron and Amy plot their revenge on Bobby; Bobby realizes being boss isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.
(NEW) Lizard Lick Towing (10/9c) – S02, E21
Lizard Lick Towing (10:30/9:30c) – S01, E05 – Ron and Bobby try to repossess a flatbed and truck from a racecar driver.
Adventure Time (6-7c) With (NEW) episode, “Burning Low” at 6:30c.
(NEW) Regular Show (8/7c) – S03, E33 “The Best VHS in the World”
Regular Show (8:15/7:15c) – “Fists of Justice” – Mordecai and Rigby do all of Skips’ duties for the day as a birthday gift.
(NEW) Annoying Orange (8:30/7:30c) – S01, E07 “Dr. Strange Plum”
(NEW) MAD (8:45/7:45c) – “The Mixed Martial Artist; Aquaman vs. Wild”
(SEASON PREMIERE) Taboo (7/6c) – S07, E01 “Beauty” – Women who mutilate their bodies.
Taboo (8/7c) – S09, E10 “Ugly” – Standards of beauty in different cultures; facial transplants and facial deformity.
(NEW) Border Wars (9/8c) – “Rio Grande Reefer” – Human smugglers and the drug cartels use the Rio Grande River as a route to cross the border with their contraband.
(NEW) Locked Up Abroad (10/9c) – S06, E14 “Chilean Prison Break” – A man makes a daring escape from a Chilean jail after being arrested with LSD.
Fatal Encounters (8/7c) – S01, E13 “American Nightmare” – After the September 11, 2001 attack, a local ex-con seeks revenge on a Bangladeshi immigrant hoping to make it in America.
(NEW) Blood, Lies & Alibis (9/8c) – S01, E09 “The Woodchipper Killer” – A woman goes missing after a Connecticut snowstorm and her husband claims she has left him for another man, but an eyewitness tells a gruesome tale.
(NEW) Stolen Voices, Buried Secrets (10/9c) – S02, E19 “One Last Ride” – A man with a passion for cars disappears after selling his beloved Mustang.
Stolen Voices, Buried Secrets (10:30/9:30c) – S02, E09 “Recipe For Murder” – Rental agent’s body is found in a vacant apartment.
Iron Chef America Marathon (7pm-3c)
(MOVIE) A View to a Kill (8/7c) – Agent 007 ties a mad tycoon and his statuesque aide to a plot to flood Silicon Valley. (Roger Moore, Christopher Walken, Grace Jones, Tanya Roberts, Patrick Macnee)
(MOVIE) Salt (10:15/9:15c) – After a defector accuses her of spying for the Russians, a CIA officer goes on the run and tries to come up with a way to establish her innocence. (Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Daniel Olbrychski, Andre Braugher)
(MOVIE) The Forbidden Kingdom (8/7c) – A teenage fan of Hong Kong cinema finds a Chinese relic and travels back in time to help legendary martial-artists free the Monkey King. (Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Michael Angarano, Crystal Liu, Collin Chou)
(MOVIE) Valhalla Rising (10:15/9:15c) – A mute warrior with supernatural strength escapes his captors and sails to an unknown land with a ship full of Vikings. (Mads Mikkelsen, Gary Lewis, Jamie Sives, Ewan Stewart, Alexander Morton)
(MOVIE) The Gauntlet (8/7c) – Las Vegas oddsmakers say a detective and a prostitute will never make it back to Phoenix alive. (Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Pat Hingle, William Prince, Bill McKinney)
(NEW) Uptown Comic (9/8c) – Comics Rodney Perry, Ronnie Jordan and Talent perform.
(NEW) Uptown Comic (9:30/8:30c) – Comics Special K, Charles Walden and Marcus Combs perform.
FOX MOVIE 259
(MOVIE) Walk the Line (7:30/6:30c) – Johnny Cash forms an enduring bond with June Carter and struggles with drug addiction on the way to music stardom. Based on autobiographies by Johnny Cash.(Joaquin Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon, Ginnifer Goodwin, Robert Patrick, Dallas Roberts)
FXM Presents (10:12/9:12c) – A script to screen exploration of the movie making process.)
(MOVIE) A Civil Action (10:30/9:30c) – A lawyer crusades for years on behalf of Massachusetts families whose children died from pollutants in the water. (John Travolta, Robert Duvall, Tony Shalhoub, William H. Macy, Zeljko Ivanek)
The Newsroom (8/7c) S01, E06 “Bullies” – Will suffers from insomnia; Sloan jeopardizes her career; Will handles an interview subject roughly.)
(DOCUMENTARY) About Face: Supermodels Then and Now (9/8c) – Carmen Dell’Orefice, Carol Alt, Isabella Rossellini, Christie Brinkley, Beverly Johnson and other models discuss their groundbreaking careers. (Timothy Greenfield-Sanders)
(COMEDY SPECIAL) George Lopez: It’s Not Me, It’s You (10:15/9:15c) – The comic performs at the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles.
(MOVIE) The Adjustment Bureau (7:10/6:10c) – After glimpsing his future, an ambitious politician battles the agents of Fate itself to be with the woman he loves. Based on a short story by Philip K. Dick. (Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Anthony Mackie, John Slattery, Michael Kelly)
True Blood (9/8c) – S05, E08 “Somebody That I Used to Know” – The Authority heads in a new direction; Sookie and Jason visit the site of their parents’ deaths.
The Newsroom (10/9c) – S01, E06 “Bullies” – Will suffers from insomnia; Sloan jeopardizes her career; Will handles an interview subject roughly.
HBO SIG 304
(MOVIE) Larry Crowne (8/7c) – Unemployed after a round of corporate downsizing, a middle-aged man enrolls in college and meets a teacher who has lost her passion for her job and her husband. (Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, Bryan Cranston, Cedric the Entertainer, Taraji P. Henson)
The Making Of: Larry Crowne (9:45/8:45c) – Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts star in the romantic comedy.
Boardwalk Empire (10/9c) – S02, E04 “What Does the Bee Do?” – Nucky considers a risky legal maneuver; Jimmy and Mickey head to Philadelphia; Eli worries about the Commodore’s ability to lead; Chalky is cornered at work and at home; Van Alden’s agents target Mickey’s warehouse; Richard lets down his guard.
(MOVIE) The Big Year (7/6c) – Three men race around North America in a prestigious contest to see who can spot the greatest number of bird species in a single year. Based on the book by Mark Obmascik. (Steve Martin, Jack Black, Owen Wilson, Brian Dennehy, Anjelica Huston)
(MOVIE) Something Borrowed (9/8c) – After imbibing too much at a party, an unhappily single woman falls into bed with the fiance of her best friend. Based on a novel by Emily Giffin. (Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson, Colin Egglesfield, John Krasinski, Steve Howey)
(MOVIE) Little Fockers (9/8c) – As two clans descend on the scene of young twins’ birthday, Greg Focker’s moonlighting at a pharmaceutical company threatens to derail his position of trust with Jack, his uptight father-in-law. (Robert De Niro, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Dustin Hoffman, Barbra Streisand)
(MOVIE) Bird on a Wire (8/7c) – An FBI-relocated witness and his ex-girlfriend from the ’60s are chased by the drug thug he sent to prison. (Mel Gibson, Goldie Hawn, David Carradine, Bill Duke, Stephen Tobolowsky)
(MOVIE) Horrible Bosses (10/9c) – Three oppressed workers devise a complex and seemingly foolproof plan to rid themselves of their intolerable employers. (Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, Jennifer Aniston, Colin Farrell)
(MOVIE) The Thing (7:15/6:15c) – Paranoia spreads among a team of Arctic researchers as they battle a deadly alien organism that assumes the shapes of its victims. (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Joel Edgerton, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Trond Espen Seim, Ulrich Thomsen)
(MOVIE) Dream House (9/8c) – A publisher and his wife discover that their beautiful new home was once the scene of the gruesome murders of a woman and her children. (Daniel Craig, Naomi Watts, Rachel Weisz, Marton Csokas, Elias Koteas)
(MOVIE) Titanic (7:45/6:45c) – A society girl abandons her haughty fiance for a penniless artist on the ill-fated ship’s maiden voyage. (Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates, Frances Fisher)
(MOVIE) Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (8/7c) – Following a long prison term for insider trading, master manipulator Gordon Gekko keeps his real motives hidden when he forges an alliance with his daughter’s fiancé. (Michael Douglas, Shia LaBeouf, Josh Brolin, Carey Mulligan, Eli Wallach)
(MOVIE) Gulliver’s Travels (10:15/7:15c) – While a man is on assignment in the Bermuda Triangle, a vortex transports him to Lilliput, a magic land of little people. Based on the novel by Jonathan Swift. (Jack Black, Jason Segel, Emily Blunt, Amanda Peet, Billy Connolly)
(MOVIE) Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (8/7c) – In town for a motorcycle race, a sportswriter and his attorney engage in prolific substance abuse. (Johnny Depp, Benicio Del Toro, Craig Bierko, Ellen Barkin, Gary Busey)
(MOVIE) Turning Green (7:30/6:30c) – While living with their aunts in Ireland, two American siblings sell pornography to make money. (Timothy Hutton, Alessandro Nivola, Colm Meaney, Donal Gallery, Killian Morgan)
(MOVIE) Janie Jones (9/8c) – First, a fading musician learns that he has a daughter from a long-ago tryst, then he must take the teen on tour with him when her mother checks into rehab. (Abigail Breslin, Alessandro Nivola, Elisabeth Shue, Peter Stormare, Brittany Snow)
(MOVIE) Rest Stop (8/7c) – A psychotic killer terrorizes a young couple taking a cross-country road trip. (Jaimie Alexander, Joey Mendicino, Joey Lawrence, John Shiban)
(MOVIE) Maniac Cop 2 (9:30/8:30c) – A New York detective hunts the unreal title character, now teamed up with a killer of strippers. (Robert Davi, Claudia Christian, Michael Lerner, Bruce Campbell, Laurene Landon)
(MOVIE) The Help (7:30/6:30c) – Determined to become a writer, a 1960s Mississippi society girl turns her small town on its ear by interviewing black women who work for prominent white families. Based on the novel by Kathryn Stockett. (Viola Davis, Emma Stone, Bryce Dallas Howard, Octavia Spencer, Jessica Chastain)
Weeds (10/9c) – S08, E05 “Red in Tooth and Claw” – Nancy’s attempt to raise money for Stevie’s team leads to temptation; Jill uses Doug for revenge; Shane and Angela go on a date.
Episodes (10:30/9:30c) – S02, E05 – Sean and Beverly learn about Matt’s stalker; a travel agent’s mistake threatens Merc and Jamie’s affairs; Morning has a plastic surgery mishap.
Weeds (9/8c) – S08, E05 “Red in Tooth and Claw” – Nancy’s attempt to raise money for Stevie’s team leads to temptation; Jill uses Doug for revenge; Shane and Angela go on a date.
Episodes (9:30/8:30c) – S02, E05 – Sean and Beverly learn about Matt’s stalker; a travel agent’s mistake threatens Merc and Jamie’s affairs; Morning has a plastic surgery mishap.
(MOVIE) Trailer Park Boys: Countdown to Liquor Day (8:10/7:10c) – Ricky, Julian, Bubbles, Sam, Cyrus and Ray plot revenge against Jim after their parole. (Robb Wells, John Paul Tremblay, Mike Smith, John Dunsworth, Jonathan Torrens)
(MOVIE) The Mechanic (10/9c) – After his mentor is murdered, an elite assassin accepts the man’s son as an apprentice, so that they both may take their revenge. (Jason Statham, Ben Foster, Donald Sutherland, Tony Goldwyn, Jeff Chase)
(MOVIE) Blood Creek (8:30/7:30c) – Two brothers become entangled in a sinister Nazi’s occult experiment at an American farmhouse. (Dominic Purcell, Henry Cavill, Michael Fassbender, Emma Booth, Rainer Winkelvoss)
Strikeforce: Diaz vs. Noons II (10/9c) – Nick Diaz vs. KJ Noons; Marloes Coenen vs. Sarah Kaufman; Matt Lindland vs. Luke Rockhold. From San Jose, CA.